Ian Kinsler with a floating bat
Fuck that bat. Denis Poroy/Getty Images

Earlier tonight, veteran presence and noted bad baseball player Ian Kinsler was seen shouting “Fuck you, fuck all of you” after hitting a three-run bomb. Now, before we discuss this further, let’s take a moment to focus on the most important event in tonight’s game: Chris Paddack cowboying up.

Now that we’ve all enjoyed that GIF three hundred times, let’s discuss the do’s and don’ts of shouting “fuck all of you”.

Don’t do it…

  • … at a job interview
  • … in a public bathroom
  • … during intermission at a children’s theater performance
  • … on a first date
  • … at church

Do it…

  • … before or during an orgy
  • … if the sheriff and his posse have you surrounded following a stagecoach robbery
  • … in front of a legislative body
  • … while spraying pesticide as described in the directions on the container
  • … when you hit a game-winning home run despite being a very bad baseball player
This is the comment template